And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
