JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
