and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
