What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
