I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
