try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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