Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
