i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
