a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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