just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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