# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
