Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
