I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
