I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I love you. Go after that dick
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
