I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
