First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
