i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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