maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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