I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
