when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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