lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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