My friends, they love my intelligence
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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