I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
