is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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