I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
