me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
