No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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