Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
