what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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