I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
