I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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