I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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