i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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