i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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