Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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