We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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