those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
