I just made out with a guy for $7.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You were trust falling into bushes
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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