I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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