And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize