dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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