scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
