I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize