What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
