And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
