why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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