I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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