I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we're making bets on your personal life
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
