Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
As shirtless as possible
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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