she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
