Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
