Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
