im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
