the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
