just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
