Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
