I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
