My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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