You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
