Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
